Post 804423 by MistralS60 on 2016-08-23 16:57:37
Not filthy, sick, anti-Semitic or blasphemous, but blonde ? Irish ? Kerry ?
Post 804767 by jamesy12345 on 2016-09-02 16:13:00
Not filthy, sick, anti-Semitic or blasphemous, but blonde ? Irish ? Kerry ?
Have a stab and see if you get told off I guess. I got away with the punchline "you can't jelly your nob up your girlfriends arse" a while ago :)
Yes the joke censorship could be described as light touch. Had you accompanied that punchline with a picture of said deed I think it would still have passed muster.
We did have an interesting over 18's area here a while ago but someone who obviously wasn't meant too look at such things did and then complained. ....end of....? ?
[QUOTE=MoleT-5R;804442]We did have an interesting over 18's area here a while ago but someone who obviously wasn't meant too look at such things did and then complained. ....end of....? ?[/QUOTE] That person is now banned, so maybe we could have it back. ;)
The official line is "as long as it's within the rules" which is mainly a result of whats legal, terms and conditions of external parties we are dependent on and what we can reasonably host without bankrupting the owners and effectively ending the site. Not safe for work is I suppose a bit more free than other sections but rules is still rules. Picture of jelly nob next to girlfriends ass wouldn't be excepted because: Transit partners disallow us to transit pornographic material. Someone would have to assess if permission had been sought and that those in the pictures were of legal age in the UK, Switzerland and Germany. Unfortunately those that maintain the site probably shouldn't be subjected to it. Hope that goes some way to explain things anyway Sent from my SM-N9208 using Tapatalk
So how about a joke about an Englishman and another man who shared a flat, only as friends ? No offence intended to anyone. The Englishman was always pulling birds, but the other chap couldn't pull at all, at all, so one evening the E-man said, Well, we'll go to the pub and I'll show you how to pull. They went to the pub, bought pints, and sat down to await events, then a couple of girls walked in and did the same ...
And.... Sent from my SM-N930F using Tapatalk
[QUOTE=Santa;804731]And.... [/QUOTE] Didn't get it myself!
Mistral, if that was the complete joke with punchline your banned! [emoji14] Sent from my SM-T813 using Tapatalk
I'm on bloody tenterhooks now , I have to know how it pans out for the blokes in the pub ! Is this one of those how do you keep an idiot in suspense things ? I'll tell you tomorrow.
Is there a white horse serving at the bar and his name turns out to be Eric ,?
Read this during the Olympics: Results in the Boating event.....the Australians have taken Gold, GB have taken Silver & Somalia have taken the boat :slap:
[QUOTE=MistralS60;804729]So how about a joke about an Englishman and another man who shared a flat, only as friends ? No offence intended to anyone. The Englishman was always pulling birds, but the other chap couldn't pull at all, at all, so one evening the E-man said, Well, we'll go to the pub and I'll show you how to pull. They went to the pub, bought pints, and sat down to await events, then a couple of girls walked in and did the same ...[/QUOTE] Is it jokes you can finished yourself? ..."are you two Wales Scottish?"
[QUOTE=jamesy12345;804744]Is it jokes you can finished yourself? ..."are you two Wales Scottish?"[/QUOTE] Like that :)
Is it the same bar that the Lone Ranger arrives at one night and they won't let Tonto in Co's he's Indian . So the Lone Ranger tells him to run on the spot to keep warm while he has a drink , then an old prospector comes in and says " Hey Lone Ranger , I think you left your injun runnin outside.?
Is it the same bar, the bloke asks for helicopter flavoured crisps, and is told they only have plane?
Dyslexic walks into a Bra
2 brummies in a pub.... 1:Where ya been mate? 2:I've been fishing 1:catch much? 2: caught a whale! 1: a whale?! What did you do with it?! 2: I threw it back, thar was no spokes in it. :) Thankyou I'm here all night.
Is it the bar next door to that butchers shop where the guy goes in and asks " have you got pigs trotters? " the butcher says yes and the guy says " can you trot over there porky and get me a pound of mince"?
For chrissake Mistral what was the punchline I havent slept for two nights now. Cmon bro !
So the chap who couldn't pull birds says to the E-man, What about those two then ? The E-man says, They're no good to us, they fancy each other. The other chap says, Well, I'm going to chat them up anyway, so he goes over to the girls and says, Hello there, nice to see you, what part of Lesbie do you come from ? Sorry, very bad whale, I hope it was worth waiting for :sorry:
[QUOTE=MistralS60;804796]So the chap who couldn't pull birds says to the E-man, What about those two then ? The E-man says, They're no good to us, they fancy each other. The other chap says, Well, I'm going to chat them up anyway, so he goes over to the girls and says, Hello there, nice to see you, what part of Lesbie do you come from ? Sorry, very bad whale, I hope it was worth waiting for :sorry:[/QUOTE] I think we can safely say that type of joke is not allowed.
Orca2, what do you think ? Stribo, how about this one : It was the birthday of the chap ("C") who couldn't pull, so the E-man ("E") bought a life-sized inflatable doll and put it in his bed. C said nothing the next morning, so E said casually, How was the girl ? C said, Well, she was quite attractive, but wouldn't speak to me, and when I gave her a love-bite she farted and jumped out of the window.
Think I need to dig the keys out for the ban stick cabinet Sent from my SM-T813 using Tapatalk
Jamesy liked it ! He has taste :).
Is this some kind of art installation thing , when you said you were going to do jokes I didn't realise you were going to hit us with this serious gourmet 5hit I thought it would be just funny jokes. The exquisite way in which you have wrought interest from these 5hite jokes transcends art or performance . Coupled with your username " Mistral" a hot wind that blows in from the desert , causes mischief and mayhem then mysteriously blows away . Poetic and artistic genius my windy friend , tell us more , you have us in your thrall.
[QUOTE=MistralS60;804824]Jamesy liked it ! He has taste :).[/QUOTE] I was in tears telling that to the GF (she's called Rachel & has a puncture), good one
Ok so a little inflatable boy is up in front of his inflatable headmaster for bringing a pin to his inflatable school , the inflatable headmaster says . " you have let the school down , you have let me down and worst of all you have let yourself down. ". Your move windy boy , make it good , and if you can't make it good , weird will do .
[QUOTE=jamesy12345;804836]I was in tears telling that to the GF, good one[/QUOTE] I prefer your girlfriends old posts in NSFW. ;)
[QUOTE=stribo;804839]I prefer your girlfriends old posts in NSFW. ;)[/QUOTE] Working on her sis now :)
What ., actually now , how can you type at the same time ? You are a bona fide God amongst men Jamesy , a God!
[QUOTE=Orca2;804844]What ., actually now , how can you type at the same time ? You are a bona fide God amongst men Jamesy , a God![/QUOTE] I must be in that case , she's on a different continent Who are you going satisfy with that ? Me (ref to Ronnie Barker " what , from here" joke)
Who's on first ...... (Abbot and Costello sketch.)
OK, so here's my last try. There's this nice little girl walking the dog, when she meets the vicar, who says, Good morning, my dear, how sweet you look in your white dress. What's your name ? Sandra, vicar. Oh, that's a good name, and what's your little white dog's name ? Porky, vicar. That's a strange name for a dog. Is it because he's small and plump ? No, vicar, he's called Porky because he f*c*s pigs. If no-one but Jamesy likes this I'm outta here :wallbash: And Mistral is the official colour of my car :cool:
[QUOTE=MistralS60;804850]OK, so here's my last try. There's this nice little girl walking the dog, when she meets the vicar, who says, Good morning, my dear, how sweet you look in your white dress. What's your name ? Sandra, vicar. Oh, that's a good name, and what's your little white dog's name ? Porky, vicar. That's a strange name for a dog. Is it because he's small and plump ? No, vicar, he's called Porky because he f*c*s pigs. If no-one but Jamesy likes this I'm outta here :wallbash: And Mistral is the official colour of my car :cool:[/QUOTE] Any pork in a storm, I guess
[QUOTE=MistralS60;804806]Orca2, what do you think ? Stribo, how about this one : It was the birthday of the chap ("C") who couldn't pull, so the E-man ("E") bought a life-sized inflatable doll and put it in his bed. C said nothing the next morning, so E said casually, How was the girl ? C said, Well, she was quite attractive, but wouldn't speak to me, and when I gave her a love-bite she farted and jumped out of the window.[/QUOTE] Old Billy connelly joke that :)
[QUOTE=jamesy12345;804843]Working on her sis now :)[/QUOTE] Seriously?! Good lad! :lol:
[QUOTE=Doingitsideways;804859]Seriously?! Good lad! :lol:[/QUOTE] Only in my mind :)
You could learn astral projection ...
[QUOTE=MistralS60;804882]You could learn astral projection ...[/QUOTE]
I'm trying my hardest believe me
Orca, could you put a 'rant' smiley in #28, please ? If not, this one will do ... :blahblah: