Post 804797 by MistralS60 on 2016-09-03 10:31:56
In a manic phase this morning, so for a start :
Everyone was feeling gay at the party, so Gay went home.
Post 804811 by jamesy12345 on 2016-09-03 17:50:57
I'm on a whiskey diet, I've lost three days already.
Post 804825 by MistralS60 on 2016-09-03 19:59:04
I'm not anti-semantic - some of my best friends are words (Groucho Marx).
Post 804837 by jamesy12345 on 2016-09-03 21:25:35
I discovered I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat
Post 804840 by Orca2 on 2016-09-03 21:33:08
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp ,? He bought a warehouse.
Post 804841 by stribo on 2016-09-03 21:34:13
[QUOTE=jamesy12345;804811]I'm on a whiskey diet, I've lost three days already.[/QUOTE]
Is that a joke, or just a statement? ;)
Post 804842 by Orca2 on 2016-09-03 21:34:57
If someone tells you they have OCD. They don't have it ,
If they tell you they have CDO they do , cos that's in alphabetical order.
5hit that's two lines isn't it !
Post 804845 by jamesy12345 on 2016-09-03 21:50:23
[QUOTE=stribo;804841]Is that a joke, or just a statement? ;)[/QUOTE]
Credit where credits due, Tommy Cooper said it first but this afternoon it more a statement than a joke - two weeks dry while on holiday then straight back to work for a week then Saturday arrived and the Rapture* took me
*not unlike Father Hennessy in Constantine
Post 804883 by MistralS60 on 2016-09-05 12:08:48
Dry holiday, Jamesy ? Where'd you go ? Middle East ?
BTW you must be dysnumeric if 12345 is meant to be your firing order :B_offtopi.
Post 804885 by jamesy12345 on 2016-09-05 12:48:32
[QUOTE=MistralS60;804883]Dry holiday, Jamesy ? Where'd you go ? Middle East ?
BTW you must be dysnumeric if 12345 is meant to be your firing order :B_offtopi.[/QUOTE]
Well relatively dry compared to the usual consumption. I'm working in Africa atm so thought why not try to climb Kilimanjaro then after went to Zanzibar for kite surfing. 8 days on a mountain with no bevvies..! When I got back...
Username was made when I was new to ebay in 2004, all of the combinations of James I could think of were used already, so just swiped my finger up the keyboard :) never thought of firing order til now good one
Post 804935 by jamesy12345 on 2016-09-06 20:17:47
*I tried that cage fighting....those budgies can be ££££ing vicious.
*Who said guys can't multi-task - I can ££££ up 6 things at once.
Post 804941 by Doingitsideways on 2016-09-06 21:34:26
[QUOTE=jamesy12345;804935]
*Who said guys can't multi-task - I can ££££ up 6 things at once.[/QUOTE]
In a similar vain...
Men can't multitask? I manage to p1ss people off and amuse myself at the same time.
Post 804993 by jamesy12345 on 2016-09-07 21:21:04
[QUOTE=Doingitsideways;804941]In a similar vain...
Men can't multitask? I manage to p1ss people off and amuse myself at the same time.[/QUOTE]
everybody needs a hobby!
Post 804998 by Doingitsideways on 2016-09-07 21:55:24
[QUOTE=jamesy12345;804993]everybody needs a hobby![/QUOTE]
I consider it more a career
Post 805001 by jamesy12345 on 2016-09-07 22:32:12
Career one liners then...
*People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now
*My job is secure. No one else wants it
*I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
*I just lost my job as a Psychic. I did not see that coming.
Post 805041 by MistralS60 on 2016-09-08 17:13:23
No career here, so an Oscar Wilde one : I can resist anything except temptation.